THE LONG WALK HOME

One thing I hate to admit: I only feel safe walking at night in the company of others, typically a male.

I hate this. I hate that no matter what time it is, the first thought that crosses my mind is "man, I wish my boyfriend was here to walk me home right now," rather than "I wish we lived in a society where women didn't have to worry about that kind of thing."

Because really, it doesn't matter what time of night, where you are, or what you're wearing. The creeping sense of vulnerability is ever present. And sometimes a little company isn't even enough. 

Many times I've walked home with a friend by my side with people catcalling after us, then cursing and becoming aggressive after we don't acknowledge them.

My friend came home tonight after her and her male roommate were almost attacked outside a convenience store. This was by a well-lit street just a block from campus, at 9 pm, on a Sunday night. She and her roommate were wearing gym clothes, and yet the strangers felt a need to comment on my friend's ass, among other things. Her roommate stuck up for her, and was threatened because of it. The two had to flee.

Later, she tells me, she felt horrible; she feels it is her fault that the strangers threatened them. Why is it that simply being a woman, regardless of wardrobe, feels like a catalyst to a crime?

She did nothing wrong. Yes, maybe we should all carry mace and learn martial arts and constantly have 911 on speed dial on our phones. But is walking around in fear really any way to live? 

We need growing men to learn that it is never, ever okay to catcall women, no matter how "flattering" comments may seem, and especially to never incite violence. It's not just distasteful; it's criminal harassment.  

I would love to know that someday my daughter(s) or granddaughter(s) will live in a world where they never to be afraid to walk by themselves. In Minneapolis, a brave woman named Lindsey made it her mission to create cards to hand out to catcallers. Not all of us can follow suit like that, but we can make a difference by never being a bystander. Enough people are talking about this issue, but there needs to be more impact on the streets. People need to know it is not okay, not in this universe. By yourself, it can be difficult to hold your ground. But when you see it happening from afar, or perpetrated from a friend, don't just let it happen. Raise your voice.